Everything you need to know in your third trimester 🤰

At work the other day I was having a conversion with my friends about childbirth it was probably a very funny conversation for me and not so much for them. But the reason we got on the subject about child birth was because I’ve begun having Braxton hicks at work.. anyway this made me more aware of just how little women are actually educated about what it’s really like being pregnant and in your third trimester.

So this brings me to my topic of everything that happens in your third trimester.

Things I wish women told me.

• make a check list, I’ll be sharing mine with you all very soon.

• it’s ok to say no to going out and being social, it doesn’t mean your a bad friend and if your like me and the first one out of your friends to have babies. One day your friends will get it and until that day just let them be mad because one day they will look back and say sorry.

• date nights are important, making time with your husband or partner is still so important.

• make time for you! Be selfish go out alone and enjoy it because for the next few years your going to have a very depent little human who needs there mother And sorry to my husband but also him.

• journal everything or in my case blog! Now this is my second pregnancy and I’ve had this blog since my pregnancy with Lorenzo who is now two years old. I still look back and read his birth blog and those milestones I had with him and I love that! I also have a little box that I’ve made him for when he’s older it has all these letters I’ve written from the time I was pregnant to his first birthday. Any keep sakers are a memory You don’t want to lose.

• don’t fear childbirth, because it’s not actually the worst feeling in the world. The contradictions are harder than the pushing.

• hormones are wild! I found myself on Google the other day trying to find ways to calm myself down I woke up just in the worst mood for no reason.

• don’t plan on walking a whole heap because when you do it hurts like a bitch and you start getting shortness of breath.

• prepare your friends and family, set some ground rules and make sure everyone is on the same page. Again what I mean by this is tell them when it’s ok to come visit and when it’s not. Make sure they know if they are sick to please not come up and visit. Little things like this might not seem important but they are trust me.

Practical things you should definitely be doing by now.

• birth plan – now I’ve said many times yes it’s great to have one but also don’t have to higher of expectations because anything can happen. If you would like to read my birth plan for both pregnancy they are up on my blog.

• pack the hospital bag! Nothing worse than being and feeling unprepared.

• go get your car seat fitted or shown how to install it correctly and safely. With Lorenzo we went to our local fire station and for baby girl when we picked her car seat up from baby bunting we asked and they had a safety person on shift at the time to show us and when we place it in our car we can go back and see if it’s done correctly.

• get to know all your baby items. Play around with your pram practice getting it in and out of your car the best and easiest way and any other items you think you need to get to know. Yes you will be completely silly but trust me nothing worse than a crying new born stuck in her car seat well you try and work out how to fold out the pram…

• classes are your best friend. With Lorenzo I never went to the breast feeding class that was offered to me… boy oh boy do I regret that! They are so helpful you have no idea.

• tour the hospital. Book a tour of where you’ll be get prepared and know your areas well. So helpful and important.

• get the house ready, yes the baby room and and where he or she will sleep is important but it’s not the only thing, make dinners and freeze them down so on night your both tired you can just re-heat. Do a full clean out and make the house as tidy as possible because trust me your going to want to do that after their born so might as well start well pregnant. Do heaps of washing and keep up to date because you’ll forget to do a load of washing some days after child birth and nothing is worse than running out of clean undies.

• stock up on after care items, do this well your pregnant and it’s fresh on your mind. One thing I wished I stocked up more of was breast feeding pads, pads etc.

• do a massive shop in the week or two leading up to the birth of your child, stock up on toilet paper, cleaning supplies, bathroom items. Because trust me the last thing you want to be doing or your partner is running back and forth to the shops because you’ve run out of these things with a two week old baby. All you to do is not wear a bra and be in comfy clothes enjoying your little bundle of joy.

My 3rd trimester check list:

• birth plan – if you would like to see mine it’s already up on my blog page. Just head to the search bar and add in my birth plan and you’ll find both for each of my children.

• take a breast feeding class or chat with someone.

• clean the house before baby girls arrival and when my sister comes to house sit well I’m in labor.

• put the nursey together

• buy everything I need before her birth.

• pack the hospital bag

• tour the hospital

• take as many photos of this last stage as possible.

• plan for newborn baby photos

• start her baby book.

• fit the car seat in and clean my car out.

• get my aftercare kit ready and have it in my bathroom.

• make sure to spend as much one on one time with my son before he becomes a big brother.

For me this pretty much covers everything I can do to be prepared for baby girls arrival. I have my hospital bag left to pack and I’ve made a blog for that as I’m going to list everything one item at a time.

Birth plan for second baby and everything in between

I made a birth plan with my first born son Lorenzo but at the end of the day he came in his own time and I tried my best to stick to the things I wanted but until your in that situation anything can change or happen. So when I say I’m making a birth plan for baby girl please know that I’m not writing this saying this is what I want and this is what I’ll be doing no matter what as this is my second birth I know anything is possible.

With Lorenzo I was 100% sold on a pain free/ drug free birth, and the reality was he was two weeks over due and I had to get induced which was clearly not a drug free birth and yes I made it to 6cm and was begging for the drugs.

This time around:

Again I want to try a drug free birth

” for as long as possible.” But I’m also fully prepared to get to a point where I will again be asking for some type of pain relief. I’ve already been reading up on ways to manage a drug free birth and I want to try some of those things but again I’m not writing this sticking to my word because anything is possible.

Who I want in the birthing room:

First pregnancy I asked my mother who is a retired midwife and of course hubby to be in the room.

This time around I will being having the same, I haven’t asked my mum yet and if she says no then that’s also ok and it will just be me and hubby.

Who will be at the hospital:

With Lorenzo the eximent of having a baby got the best of me and I had everyone come and visit straight away which was so lovely but also very overwhelming for me when I look back on that time, I pretty much had my whole family there from the get go and close family friends and when they left and I was alone it felt weird and was hard to adjust, so hubby and I did speak about what would happen this time around and this is what we have decided.

We will be informing my parents when I go into labour and my older sister is already on Stan by to come house sit as we do have a dog named zues and of course our son, she will be tag teaming this with my little sister as well. Or they will most likely take zues to my parents family home. For the birth of our baby girl and the whole first day we have decided we just want it to be Hayden and I and too enjoy our time with our baby girl as she is the second baby and her whole life she’s going to have someone with her, we want to enjoy her and celebrate her birth and also rest. This is something I really never thought about doing with Lorenzo and I honestly wish I did.

Second day with baby girl will be family and Lorenzo our son meeting baby girl for the first time. We have spoken and we might also invite very close friends up that afternoon but it all depends on how the morning will go with Lorenzo meeting his new baby sister.

Which brings us to day 3. This will be when friends only close friends come and meet her and have a visit.

When we will announce her birth:

We have decided to keep her birth to ourselves and close ones well we are still in hospital. At this point we definitely know we won’t be posting to social media the first day and again Hubby and I really are putting our foot down with only wanting that first day to be us and in that moment as you never get that moment back. We have booked a newborn photoshoot with a friend who has her own business and she is coming up the second day to take family photos in our room of the moment Lorenzo meets his sister and of us four as a family, so we might possibly be waiting for a photo from her and then we will upload to social media.

What will hubby do this time around:

Hubby and I have also spoken as we do have a dog and a two year old hubby will be staying the nights with Lorenzo at home so he is not left out in anyway, and that they get to have that bond. Hubby will be there during the days for a few hours at a time but will most likely be myself and baby girl.

Our first two weeks at home:

Hubby and I spoke and have said our main focus at the end of the day is our family and Lorenzo. I work with kids and have seen the effects some children have when a new baby is added into the family but the parents have sent them to daycare for a full day well the child knows they are both home, honestly it’s heartbreaking to watch and I never want to make my son feel that way, we have decided the first week we will break up Lorenzo’s daycare days for example Lorenzo goes to his grandparents on Mondays which he of course won’t be because we will be both be at home, we decided to keep him home Monday & Tuesday and will send him to daycare on the Wednesday and see how he goes clearly not a full day. If he does well and is fine we will continue to take him but have decided only half days if he doesn’t do well we decided to keep him home that Thursday and send him that Friday. Durning the second week we said he will be going back on normal routine as hubby will be going back to work week 3 so we unfortunately can’t do it as well in week 2 and need to keep in consent.

Split our time with Lorenzo:

My biggest fear out of this whole thing is my son and making sure he still knows he’s loved and that he’s happy. So hubby and I spoke and we will definitely be tag teaming it where after I breast feed “if I get the chance.” I’ll take Lorenzo to the park just him and I and have our time, little things like that and also hubby will do the same with Lorenzo etc. We will figure out parenting two kids along the way.

So as you can see our birth plan isn’t just a blog about how the birth will go it’s more about planning, planning the who’s, how’s and the when’s. We know we might upset a few friends and family but this time around and our last time around we really just want it to be about our little family and what’s best for our happiness and if we have to be a little selfish for our family then we will be We know what one day some of our families and friends will understand.

Mental health

I became a mother almost two years ago, pregnancy wasn’t the dream I thought it would be, but hubby and I still were on cloud nine. We were so over joyed to be pregnant and also having a baby boy!

If your new here and haven’t had a chance to go throw all my old pregnancy blogs with my first born, than that’s ok because I’ll catch you up to speed right now. My first pregnancy was very much completed… My first trimester was easy in the sense of I didn’t get morning sickness and when I was sick it was for a week and then I was all good. But unfortunately when I was six weeks pregnant I began to have massive pains in my lower stomach, that’s when I was told I had ovarian cyst’s one of which was 30ml in size! Clearly not normal and something had to be done! In my second trimester very randomly and unexpected after work I began to become very sick, that night I threw up a cup of blood ” the only reason I know it was a cup, is the nurse’s could test how much blood loss.” I was rushed to hospital, Lorenzo’s heartbeat was no where to be found for at least an hour, to this day they can’t explain what was happening. Than in my third trimester when I was 30 weeks I began to leak fluids and started having false contractions every five minutes apart… Again rushed to hospital and they gave me something to stop them and I was told to be put on light duties.

So say my first pregnancy wasn’t normal is an understatement! This made me very on edge and than it only got worse when it was actually my time to give birth, again I have my whole birth story on my blog channel you should take the time to read it.

When you take in all those factors it’s a no brainer as to why I felt the way I did after I gave birth to my son… Lorenzo and I were stuck in a hospital for his first week of life as his blood sugar levels were so low they wouldn’t let him leave, I tried so hard to breast feed but unfortunately he had to pick his weight up so he was half formal fed and half breast fed from the first hour after birth.. with everything going on and just only being a new mother I felt more alone than ever. My first night my son was taken down to the ICU unit for testing and I unfortunately was stuck in my room childless, I thought to myself it’s ok it will be better when we are home and alone and not in this kind of invorment.

My mental health only seemed to become more and more out of control once we got home. I was full of anxiety! Scared something would happen to my son, scared to sleep because I would miss something or he was stop breathing, scared for anyone elses to hold him for too long before I had to have him in my arms again because something bad could happen, scared to let anyone help including hubby because he was my son and as a mother I was meant to have that bond with him which I didn’t feel. I was a ball of mess for at least the first month of his life. I got better, I found a routine and and found my grove again. Than I started work and slowly but surely I noticed I wasn’t better I had just got better at hiding it all.

I decided to get help and I began seeing someone, at first I found it not helpful and after each session I found myself to become more and more upset. But it wasn’t until the end of my sessions with “I’ll call her Mary” for the sake of privacy. It wasn’t until the end of my sessions with Mary that I could actually see that all those times I didn’t think the sessions helped me, or I would leave feeling more unstable or upset was actually my growth, I was finally letting out all my worries about being a mum, all my stress, all my anger towards my body for not handling pregnancy well, my anger towards the hospital I went too. I finally let go of all that I was holding onto on the inside and felt like myself again.

Mental health issues are becoming more and more common after child birth.

When I first became I new mum Instagram and any form of social media was my black hole, I used to see how these perfect mother’s were so carefree and having the time of their lives being a mother… I used to look at them and think to myself why can’t I be like that, why can’t I look that great just after giving birth. It took me months to really learn the truth and realise they only want you too see the good and sugar coat what motherhood is actually like. This is when I made my Instagram page ( thecaesarfamily ) and told my viewers that I’ll share the good, bad & in between. I’m that friend in real life that always has your back and speaks the truth and this also is the same for all my social medias.

Mental health isn’t something someone should feel embraced about, no new mother or anyone for that matter should be like they are the only ones going through it because 50% of the time you are not alone. I definitely think there should be way more of a support system for new mothers, I wish I was more informed in this area and was prepared for everything I may or may not face but at least I would of been prepared!

In hospital they have a breastfeeding class for new mothers but I think they also need to add a self help class, where mothers can sit and listen and be educated on how you might be feeling or how you will feel, ways to cope with your feelings and also understand it’s ok to have those feelings.

The Caesar family ❌⭕