31 weeks and over it

This week was a hard week… I feel like I’m just repeating myself every week when I day this but I guess as I’m getting closer and closer to my due date things are just getting crazy.

I was one big emotional mess this week. Found myself crying myself to sleep one night thinking the hubby doesn’t love me anymore.. he does and I’m just that crazy pregnant women.

We finally began getting the hospital bags ready for her arrival this week. We chatted with everyone in my family about our game plan for the hospital and who would come take care of our son, we spoke with our photograph about our photos coming up and paid that all off. We did a lot dispite feeling so emotionally run down and tired.

This week’s pregnant systems

• every time I blow my nose I now always have a little blood mixed with it.

• Braxton hicks happen a lot! When I’m at work I’ll get them twice a day just by being on my feet or if I clean my house etc, sometimes super painful and others just normal cramping. I guess second pregnancy it’s a normal thing.

• I wake every night now on and off sleep has become a normal thing which my body is just used to and I guess it’s only going to get worse when she’s born.

• leg cramps at night and super painful

• dizziness

• not hungry as much anymore and don’t really get to finish a whole meal and some nights I’ve gone without dinner because I just don’t feel like it.

• shortness of breath.

• at the end of a working day my feet are puffy, my rings don’t feet my fingers…

• very emotional

Bump update:

Our OB check up.

We saw our OB this week as we now see him every two weeks. I spoke about the Braxton hicks and the spotting I had last week… he was worried about the bleeding and if it happens again I have to go in straight away and not wait. As for all my Braxton hicks… Well I guess I just have to get used to them until she comes.

Only 8 weeks left now! I can’t wait to meet my sweet baby girl and have our family finally feel complete.

My own fears about breastfeeding baby no.2

If you’ve been following my blog since my son’s birth two years ago then you might remember my breast feeding journey with him. If your new to my blog let me give you the short version and try and link my breastfeeding blog for you too go back on and have a read if you like.

http://breastfeeding struggles

But to break it down for you guys. Lorenzo birth was a very interesting… They called my birth a “brow birth.” This is

But because of this his heart rate dropped and he got scared as he got stuck… So when he first was born he was actually taken away from me for heaps of testing this is when they found out his sugar levels were below 2.6 and because my breast milk didn’t come in until day five which was too late he needed to be formula fed straight away to get his sugar levels up and for us to be given the ok to leave the hospital.

And this is where my fears for baby girl come in and my breastfeeding journey with her. We also didn’t find out until Lorenzo was probably about five months old that he was also dairy intorlant so of course when I did try to breast feed he wasn’t having a bar of it because he was getting really bad colic because of this…

Now that Lorenzo is two we just had his check up with his doctor and he’s now been confirmed dairy intorlant and that baby girl will most likely be the same as it runs in the family on his dad’s side. I’m so glad we have been given the heads up it means I get this time to prepare myself unlike last time. And also gives me a time to make a plan.

I would be lying if I said I don’t mind not breastfeeding as I really want to have this experience with at least one of my kids. But I also know that a fed baby is a happy baby no matter how they get their milk supply from. But yes I’m going to try my best to breast feed baby girl.

After doing some research, I’ve found many conflicting stories and people say something different every time.

This is what Lorenzo had.

After lots of reading and based on all the articles I’ve had a read of if I change my diet and not only eat healthier and cut out dairy I will still be able to breastfeed.

But this is where all my questions come into play and maybe I need to look into a breastfeeding consolent.

• do I begin cutting out dairy now that I’m going into my third trimester?

• should I cut out dairy or should I still be adding in these types of fats?

• will I be able to do this?

So many questions!? But this is where I’ll leave the blog on this topic as I have decided to see someone for some support and extra help which I will write a new blog all about.

The Caesar family ❌

Maternity look book.

For my second and last pregnancy i really wanted to dress as cute as possible but I am a bigger women I have hips and all so finding cute outfits has been a struggle but here’s my look this pregnancy so far!

My spring pregnancy dress. From ripe maternity
Black tank with a crop top over layered with jeans.
Crop top over layered with a body tight dress
High wasted skirts in bigger sizes paired with my work tops or just plain black or white tops.
A maternity dress from ripe maternity
Cocktail dress from a online boutique just bigger size to fit easier.
Over sized dresses from target again just bigger sizes and easy for just the days I feel like being lazy.
I’ve enjoyed layering this look was a dress from target with a normal fitted top over the top I just tied it up.
Same us a above dress is from ripe maternity with a bigger size top over the top and just tied it at the front.
maternity dresses from target although they don’t have a lot to choose from they still have a few nice dresses.
On my lazy days I just wear ripe maternity pants with my hubbies tops 😂
Ripe maternity top with ripe maternity overalls super comfortable and cute
Over sized jumpsuits from target

These are all my pregnancy looks so far and I’ve really enjoyed trying to dress cute this pregnancy and enjoy our last pregnancy. It is some what hard when you are a bigger lady and to find outfits can sometimes be a challenge! But a shop I’ve loved this pregnancy would definitely be ripe maternity! They are a little pricey but honestly which maternity store isn’t!? So if your an Australian mumma like myself definitely check them out! They have great stuff and I always find myself going there.

Mental health

I became a mother almost two years ago, pregnancy wasn’t the dream I thought it would be, but hubby and I still were on cloud nine. We were so over joyed to be pregnant and also having a baby boy!

If your new here and haven’t had a chance to go throw all my old pregnancy blogs with my first born, than that’s ok because I’ll catch you up to speed right now. My first pregnancy was very much completed… My first trimester was easy in the sense of I didn’t get morning sickness and when I was sick it was for a week and then I was all good. But unfortunately when I was six weeks pregnant I began to have massive pains in my lower stomach, that’s when I was told I had ovarian cyst’s one of which was 30ml in size! Clearly not normal and something had to be done! In my second trimester very randomly and unexpected after work I began to become very sick, that night I threw up a cup of blood ” the only reason I know it was a cup, is the nurse’s could test how much blood loss.” I was rushed to hospital, Lorenzo’s heartbeat was no where to be found for at least an hour, to this day they can’t explain what was happening. Than in my third trimester when I was 30 weeks I began to leak fluids and started having false contractions every five minutes apart… Again rushed to hospital and they gave me something to stop them and I was told to be put on light duties.

So say my first pregnancy wasn’t normal is an understatement! This made me very on edge and than it only got worse when it was actually my time to give birth, again I have my whole birth story on my blog channel you should take the time to read it.

When you take in all those factors it’s a no brainer as to why I felt the way I did after I gave birth to my son… Lorenzo and I were stuck in a hospital for his first week of life as his blood sugar levels were so low they wouldn’t let him leave, I tried so hard to breast feed but unfortunately he had to pick his weight up so he was half formal fed and half breast fed from the first hour after birth.. with everything going on and just only being a new mother I felt more alone than ever. My first night my son was taken down to the ICU unit for testing and I unfortunately was stuck in my room childless, I thought to myself it’s ok it will be better when we are home and alone and not in this kind of invorment.

My mental health only seemed to become more and more out of control once we got home. I was full of anxiety! Scared something would happen to my son, scared to sleep because I would miss something or he was stop breathing, scared for anyone elses to hold him for too long before I had to have him in my arms again because something bad could happen, scared to let anyone help including hubby because he was my son and as a mother I was meant to have that bond with him which I didn’t feel. I was a ball of mess for at least the first month of his life. I got better, I found a routine and and found my grove again. Than I started work and slowly but surely I noticed I wasn’t better I had just got better at hiding it all.

I decided to get help and I began seeing someone, at first I found it not helpful and after each session I found myself to become more and more upset. But it wasn’t until the end of my sessions with “I’ll call her Mary” for the sake of privacy. It wasn’t until the end of my sessions with Mary that I could actually see that all those times I didn’t think the sessions helped me, or I would leave feeling more unstable or upset was actually my growth, I was finally letting out all my worries about being a mum, all my stress, all my anger towards my body for not handling pregnancy well, my anger towards the hospital I went too. I finally let go of all that I was holding onto on the inside and felt like myself again.

Mental health issues are becoming more and more common after child birth.

When I first became I new mum Instagram and any form of social media was my black hole, I used to see how these perfect mother’s were so carefree and having the time of their lives being a mother… I used to look at them and think to myself why can’t I be like that, why can’t I look that great just after giving birth. It took me months to really learn the truth and realise they only want you too see the good and sugar coat what motherhood is actually like. This is when I made my Instagram page ( thecaesarfamily ) and told my viewers that I’ll share the good, bad & in between. I’m that friend in real life that always has your back and speaks the truth and this also is the same for all my social medias.

Mental health isn’t something someone should feel embraced about, no new mother or anyone for that matter should be like they are the only ones going through it because 50% of the time you are not alone. I definitely think there should be way more of a support system for new mothers, I wish I was more informed in this area and was prepared for everything I may or may not face but at least I would of been prepared!

In hospital they have a breastfeeding class for new mothers but I think they also need to add a self help class, where mothers can sit and listen and be educated on how you might be feeling or how you will feel, ways to cope with your feelings and also understand it’s ok to have those feelings.

The Caesar family ❌⭕

It’s my body

I’m bringing up a heated conversation for myself that a friend brought up after feeling hurt about someone bringing up her weight!?

You all know me as not just a regular mum here on my blog and I’ve kept this life and my everyday life apart from each other for privacy reasons. But here goes nothing!

My name is Kate and I’m at 25 year old mother to a beautiful little boy named Lorenzo and expecting our second, I’m happy with my prince and have been his wife and very happy with the life we have created together this life i never thought I would get and here’s why.

I was born in 1994 January the 15th. I was born perfectly fine I have 10 fingers and 10 toes and had blue eyes with strawberry blonde hair. When I was a few months old my mother who was a midwife knew something was wrong, in her words I was just a very floppy baby. After countless doctors appointment and tests my mother was told I had mild CP which is called cerebral palsy.

For those that can’t read this it in detail tells my story, at 3 months old that’s when my mother noticed me to be floppy and not meeting normal milestones at what I should of been at that age. When I was one I was first diagnosed with benign hypotonia then later told mild CP.

Now that you know my medical background let me begin a very personal story as most of you know from a old blog I was bullied in high school for reasons that were gossip rather facts and by the way I looked.

When I was in high school I was the ” big girl”

Because of my CP this has effected my body because it also came with low muscle tone. Unfortunately losing weight and gaining has always been hard as my body works differently to others the best way I can describe it is if you didn’t eat for a week your body was see drastic changes and would of lost weight if I do this I would become very sick and put on weight. I clearly was just using this as a example and I don’t ever recommend doing this to find out.

Also just to balance it out I struggle to open jars or can drinks and a lot of the time will ask someone near me.

After being bullied so bad in high school, my first year out I became obsessed with my weight and how I looked. I went for a 2k run 5am every morning and gym which at the time I walked to gym because I wasn’t driving. I’ve been that person who has bragged about being at the gym for 3 hours at a time then being “bored” and going back that afternoon.

Ive been the person that would weigh myself every week. When it came to eating I thankfully was only 19 and living with my parents so I ate what was made for me but I definitely would smaller my sizes and grab a lost less than I should of been.

I was seeing a PT twice a week on top of going to the gym, I legit would go to gym a hour early and do a workout before my PT workout then would warm down after at gym…

I had definitely become the gym freak and was obsessed over beating myself at my own goals then bragging about them.

I eventually found what I thought was love at the time and thought it was dow to being the weight I was and only wanted to continue and improve myself, turns out he was a bad guy! Controlled the way I looked and dressed. I remember I got my hair cut and dyed for my birthday from my parents and loved it!

He hated it and still to this day I can still here him calling me a gokk ( which was his response for asain)

Since that day and this photo it took me until last year to cut my hair like this and when I did I still couldn’t do it.

I guess what I’m trying to say and the point I want to put across is words hurt and they stay with people and even after finding the man of my dreams he had to work really hard to not only build my trust but to remind me that I was beautiful. Which I would be lying if I sat here writing this and said I don’t struggle with anymore because it’s a weekly struggle.

I’ve lived my whole adult life on yo-yo dieting and worry about what other people think and say about me that I’ve missed the amazing things my body has brought me and how far I’ve come. I was the girl that would of ended up in a wheelchair my whole life but I’m thankful for the legs I have to walk. I was told my learning skills would be poor and yet I finished high school with all c’s and B’s and one A. Which that was with no educational support because past year 8 I didn’t need it anymore. I got a full time job straight after high school and have been in early learning for eight years now. I’ve given birth to a healthy and very smart little boy. I’ve met a man who loves me for me and doesn’t see me for my disability but sees me for me.

People need to stop comparing, stop. Labelling, stop body shaming and start looking in the mirror is that the person you want your children to become someone who be littles someone, young girls are already trying to socially fit into a word that’s already messed up. I know when I have a daughter I will teach her from day one to love and respect herself and others.

Its almost 2020 and body image is still such a massive issue and has now become a growing issue in young woman and adults.

Kate 💌