Am I ready for baby number two?

I always thought I wanted a big age gap between my kids and that I wouldn’t want to try for our second until my son was at kindy. That soon changed and both Hayden and I have been on that baby train lately. One night we found ourselves sitting and talking about when and all the in betweens for baby number two. For my work I’m a educator and usually in a room but when I came back from having a baby my role changed a little and I haven’t been in my own room I’ve been in other educators rooms helping them. But because of this Hayden I knew that if we want to try for baby number two then this would be the year just because I’m not as important at work but things could change again next year. Also with his job things are finally looking up and he’s officially at the end and coming into a massive pay jump ” a good pay jump” so to us it just kind of made sense to try this year.

Our first month came to try and we did and to be honest the feeling of scared came more to mind then anything? I was more scared of what others would think and have people no understand why we want a second so soon after our first or scared to tell my parents we are trying or even my friends. I don’t why this was even a thought because it’s not there life to live it’s mine and everyone is different but I was scared.

That scared feeling soon went away when I was a week late which for me is not uncommon so I didn’t over think and I just continued to wait. Two weeks had passed and still no period in sight and yet I wasn’t rushing to go out and buy a pregnancy test instead Hayden and I kept it to ourselves and just acted as normal. For our second time around we want to surprise everyone and keep it a secret and have cute ways to tell everyone. So no one knew but us too. Then two weeks came to three and both Hayden and I said this is definitely it. We couldn’t believe that our first try we would already be pregnant it was crazy fast for us.

I had flashbacks from finding out with Lorenzo I was a only a week old and the positive came up straight away and I actually didn’t believe it so I did two more just to double check because I was low key freaking out.

The next day I went out and bought a pregnancy test and was so nervous to open it and pee on the stick but I did and to my surprise it was negative I couldn’t believe it because I was three whole weeks late and not even my usual signs of my period had even come yet. I remember feeling confused and upset because I was getting so excited to have a new child in our family, someone to teach Lorenzo to be kind and gentle with and love and for me also I feel I missed out on the enjoyment of the newborn stage because of my heath at the time so I was so excited to do it the second time around and enjoy every moment the good and bad.

I showed Hayden and even he was bad a hiding his sad face which in return broke me he’s definitely waiting for a little girl to complete our family. After a few hours we both realised this was only the start and that we already had so much to be thankful for with having one child because we are very aware of the struggles many families face to just have one.

But all this still didn’t explain why I was still late. We went on being four weeks late when my period finally showed up snd I had decided to book to see my doctor because for me something wasn’t right with my body. But unfortunately there wasn’t much they could do, all my bloods came back fine and didn’t show anything and they didn’t push it further. I guess we will never know what or why my body did what it did. But we have decided to put our baby making on hold and we both decided that we want to focus on a few other things before we try again and have already got the ball rolling on other fun projects coming our way.

but I also look back on our experience and have realised that maybe we were a little blind to see that trying for our second child isn’t just about trying but there’s so many factors we have to consider And at the time our heads were only thinking about holding a little baby again in our arms and not about the big picture.

we don’t know what the future holds for us or if there will be more trying to come or a second baby next year or if this is just a sign that it won’t be as easy as we hoped it would be to try. But what we do know is we are healthy, happy and thankful for Lorenzo and it’s ok that it hasn’t gone to plan so far and I guess this is just life.

not just a regular mum 🌈

Our baby box

When I was pregnant with Lorenzo I began planning out a box that one day when he’s older I would pass it down to him. In my head his baby box would be full of keep sake items and something that one day he will continue doing with his own children.

Being a mother has filled me with so much joy and passion, growing up unfortunately I didn’t have the best relationship with my mother which wasn’t her fault nor mine but I didn’t see this all until this past year or so, unfortunately my mother has been battling a few issues for years and I was in my own little bubble not noticing anything until I became a mother myself ” or just a year old and wiser”

I made a list of all the things I wanted to make sure I do with my kids that I unfortunately missed on things that seem so little and most families do them yet I missed out on little simple things like I love you before tucking my son into bed, hugs and kisses, reading a story to son before bed every night. These little things I’ve all missed out on growing up I don’t know if it’s because I’ve come from a big family and unfortunately I’ll never know why. But it stops with me and my son will always be told how much I love him, kisses on the cheek until he’s older and doesn’t want them anymore “that will be a sad day” and bedtime stories as a family.

But back to the baby box, when I was pregnant this was something I wanted to do. So I began saving things that had importance such things like our medical forms from the hospital our son was born at, all our scans of Lorenzo, every photo of my bump growing.

I’ve kept all medical scans when pregnant with Lorenzo.

All the congratulations cards from family and friends for him

All the medical forms from the hospital check ups.

His first ever outfit

And his first beanie that was given from the hospital.

I inked his baby foot when he was seven weeks old for a keep saker.

All the predictions for the baby cards

His coming home outfit

His hospital tags

His first ever Christmas photo with Santa

A family book from his dad side of the family that has been passed down the line.

His baptism candle and paper work

we also have personal photos and keep sakes and his baby book and even personal hand written letters from both me and his dad on his first birthday and when I was pregnant.

I would love to know if anyone else has done something similar as well?

Not just a regular mum 💌

Did I expect parenting to be like this?

Lorenzo Robert C is the light of our world, he may look like his daddy but his random personality is definitely from his mumma. Some days I wake up and still can’t believe I have a toddler and a pretty cute one even when he’s upset or angry.

When I was pregnant I think I was living a little bit in la la land but for the most part this is exactly how I pictured motherhood. Of course I had no idea to the full extent of just how much I would miss sleep and not waking to a child cry but I’m also at that stage where I can’t imagine living in my house without a child running around.

But in saying all this I definitely thought I would be more put together when it came to parenthood I’m a list kind of girl who plans ahead and wow did that all change when I became a mum. Every day is different and never the same I can never plan a week ahead because things change. For example I was meant to see one of my best friends this weekend but unexpectedly both I and Lorenzo got the flu so our plans changed.

my expectations of how I would parent have completely changed as well, when I was pregnant I thought I wanted my son to stay away from technology and eat rather healthy 99% of the time. Now I have a toddler who when I’m waiting in line to pay for something and I’m by myself yes he is sitting there watching the wiggles or some child related show. Thankfully my son and my expectations on healthy eating are pretty consistent my son formed a milk allergy from birth and now is almost two and unfortunately still has it. We are 50% of the time a gluten and dairy free household. But we are also that household that if my son wants chicken nuggets he gets chicken nuggets.

also my expectations of working full time and being a mother are so unrealistic that when I did eventually return to work full time I got a massive wake up call! Turns out when you leave to have a baby and when you come back you have to work your way back up to top and this takes time. I also learnt that work comes second and my family comes first which yes seems like a logical thing to say but for me this was very hard to adjust too.

These are just a few of the things that I expected but of course my eyes were opened to the world of motherhood. But as I’m writing this blog I am feeling all the feels in the world because even tho motherhood has been a complete life changing experience I’ve loved it so much.

The way my son loves his daddy and their bond is like no other.

Or the way my relationship with Hayden has become so much stronger as we have learnt how to parent together and become a team.

The way Lorenzo blows you kisses goodbye or gives a cuddle and is so sweet and shows a soft side “sometimes”

The way when my son is sick he’s attached to me and only wants his mummy melts my heart and I enjoy every sick cuddle because one day he won’t want them anymore.

Or just how much Lorenzo has brought our families together has been amazing. Motherhood is nothing I would of imagined or expected but it’s definitely 200% better then ever.

I’m thankful for motherhood it’s changed me as a person so much I’m so many ways and I’m forever greatful.

Not just a regular mum 💌

When is too young to discipline your child

I’ve hit a brick wall. At first we thought Lorenzo’s little tantrums and cries were because he was trying to tell us something or maybe something was going on and he was in pain.

Fast forward a couple a weeks and he just is getting bad.. he is the kid that takes toys of other friends at daycare, he used to bite his friends I soon showed him what it was like to be bitten and that thankfully stopped. And no I don’t think that’s a sign of abuse when it’s only one time to be shown that it’s not nice.

Now I have a full blown toddler trying to test my buttons and see what he can and can’t get away with. Which is fine! I’m all for exploring but when I have to tell him over and over again not to play with the dam tv cords and he just looks and smiles at you or will just stand there thinking he’s hiding. To me this is a sign that a simple “NO” is clearly not working.

I’ve tried talking to him and telling him why we don’t touch things. For example our heater I caught him going for it one day and just yelled the word “NO it’s hot” and now he doesn’t touch it. But I think my neighbors are tired of hearing my voice on repeat!

So I did what any logical parent does and turned to google for parenting advice… and all I got was a bunch of what I imagine in a calm voice ” just try and change your child’s focus onto something else to maximums tantrums.” Ok Jenny I’ll just go up to my son next time he tries to touch the heater and in a calm voice ” look at that” well pointing at something totally random in my house that will probably work for two seconds before he tries to touch the heater again..

but after lots of internet soul searching for this about to have a break down mum I finally found a page that I found interesting.

The page is by ask Dr Sears

It was almost relatable and made me interested to see if it will work or not. For example Lorenzo’s biggest and new thing is slapping people in the face and being rough with our family dog zues. In the article it talks about guiding their little hands. Instead of saying no when you don’t want your child to touch something they said encourage the word “no touch” and for being gentle they encourage parents to use the words “soft touch.”

When I had a read of this at first I didn’t think something so simple would work but we have only been using these simple words for a few days and already I see a slight difference. And we have remained consistent and on top of it and he still has tried to touch the heater etc but definitely has stopped as soon as we say “ahh it’s hot to touch”

The next method that I found interesting was the “go” method and almost making them forget about how they were just about to have a tantrum. This definitely has worked and became a fun new game Lorenzo loves to just randomly play now so I don’t know if it’s worked too well and backfired but we still have been doing it. With Lorenzo we did see that he has responded better when I count down to 3 then say ready steady go!

I’m really struggling as a parent to find that happy balance of trying to use discipline but also understanding that my son is also still only one and what he is trying to tell me or is he just trying to see what he can and can’t do.

So although I’ve had a good google search I definitely haven’t taken these as I have to do them 100% it’s more of I’ll give it a go theirs no harm in trying. At the end of the day I’m still a “fresh” mum and still learning as I hit all these new stages and milestones with my son.

I would love to here stories on what’s worked for you and your children and what hasn’t? I’m always loving hearing everyone else’s stories as well because I know I’m not the first parent to hit this road block and I know I won’t be the last.

Not just a regular mum 💌

Lorenzo’s 4 month update

There isn’t too many drastic changes from his 3 month update but their are still a few.

Now that Lorenzo is 4 months I can definitely tell the newborn stage is gone and he is showing his little personality really well, heaps more chatty and awake for longer periods of the day!

He used to be my fussy little boy but the one big change I’ve noticed is that he is very chilled and relaxed and only cries when hungry or tired or just woken up from a sleep. He loves to just play and sometimes he just wants to play by himself and is so happy and content doing so.

Lorenzo’s routine:

  • He takes 3 naps a day. Which one is for 3 hours and the other two are just for 1 hour each.
  • He goes to bed at 6pm every night and wakes only once which is at 2am for a feed and back to sleep until 6am
  • Lorenzo is sleeping in his own room and doing so well!

Food:

  • His bottles have been cut down to only 3 a day of 180mls and he now gets food once a day which is usually around lunch time. I will be adding in more food but this is his first week so starting off small but next week it will be 2 feeds a day which will be breakfast and lunch and then I’ll add in dinner feeds as well.

Milestones:

  • Grabbing objects
  • Holding objects well
  • Baby talking
  • Smiles and responds well when other people are talking to him
  • Strong neck support
  • Strong muscle in his legs and loves a good kick.
  • When on Tummy he now brings his right leg up to his tummy as if he is going to crawl. He is definitely getting the moves correctly but obviously still not their
  • Pinching and grabbing

Liked & dislikes

  • He loves his hands and putting everything and anything in their!
  • Loves bath time and just anything with water
  • Loves music and been sung too
  • Loves going out rather then being home all the time
  • Still doesn’t like being on his back for too long but if kept busy he doesn’t notice
  • Hates when things bang or drop and make loud sounds he will cry
  • He loves soft toys and cuddles them well
  • Likes being read too and looks at all the pictures
  • Loves food!