Now don’t be fooled by the title of this blog when it comes to me disapline that word brings my own personal struggles and understanding of what & also how should I actually be teaching my son and guidance to do things, and I guess this is where I turn to other mothers or podcasts to actually get a better understanding.
My two main things I struggle with is fear & the am I. My fear is am I doing my role well, am I showing my son good habits and guiding him in the right direction. And the am I is am I doing a good job, am I a good mother, am I giving him my full attention like he deserves.
Does my child act up because I don’t spend the time I should be with him, what do I want my son to grow into, what is important for me to help my son grow.
Lorenzo will be two in January, and he’s really beginning to test all the boundaries and sometimes I wonder am I doing all that I can, am I disaplining him well, how much should I be, what or how should I be giving disapline? Am I making sure my family values and what I see for my family are being made by me. I’ve recently had to sit down and write down all that I want to be as a mother, all that I can realistically give of myself to my son and teaching these values.
My list was very simple. I want to teach my son what love is, this was actually the first and the most important for me as a mother. I want my son to always no how loved he is.
My second thing was faithfulness, I want my son to choose his own path but we’ll I can I want him to understand his Catholic side as well, I want the church family values to be put into place.
My last one was happiness, I want my son to grow up remembering how much happiness was brought into our home, only happy memories.
The next stuff I wrote down was how as a mother am I achieving these values for my son. Am I bringing all the love I can possibly bring, am I showing him all that our Catholic values have to offer in life and am I bringing happiness to the table.
I think once I achieve all these things I can say that my son’s cup! His cup will be full of all these things and he would have no room to act out, their would be no reason to show disapline.
But as I write this I’ve just added a new thing to think about and add to my list. I still want to set boundaries, I still want my children to know right from wrong. So this brings me back into full circle of how do I disapline my children.
The way I see disapline is not by getting angry or frustration. Because if anything I’ve learnt in my eight years working as a teacher is that this method is out dated and doesn’t work.
Heres how I disapline my son.
• I stay calm, I don’t raise my voice straight away, I definitely use my firm voice when needed but try hard not to get fustrated, when I do feel myself that way that’s when hubby and I tag team and I’ll walk away and allow myself to calm down and he does the same.
• we do have rules and we do try to stay consistent with these rules.
• we give consequences, for example he once threw his Toy truck and continued to do this as he noticed it makes a loud sound he liked. But of course this isn’t teaching him to be gentle with his things, so we set consequences. I said if he continued than the truck would be put away until he can show me he can use his gentle hands. I count to five and give him that time and I am prepared to follow through.
• praise the good! We make a big deal about it when Lorenzo does something good. We make sure he is praised to show him that it feels nice to be good.
• we know when to ingore, this is usually when we have tried to reason but he still has his tantrum so we just walk away and let him finish, and let him no once he’s done we will give him a cuddle.
All this things help hubby and I to keep those healthy relationships we have built with our son, and we always try to stay consent with him.
I definitely think we give our son all the love we possibly can! I’ve spoken with hubby and we are trying to have more time with Lorenzo, not be so set in a routine and coming home and just being inside and doing what we as the parents want to do. We have started every second Thursday we have family dinner nights out as a family. We are spending more time and making sure we are giving him that time. I think our big thing I really think we could be doing more of is bringing the word of God into our home and this is something we will try to work on as a family.
We still struggle with our son but it’s a more “I” thing, my husband makes parenting looks so easy and I’m the one who has to remind myself to calm down, take a break before I snap, I sometimes feel like I could be better and I can give more.
The Caesar family.